So the English major in me wanted to have some fun as we close out this year. (And yes, this is what passes as fun for English majors these days!) Here are a few of the words that have entered our general lexicon in 2020 — what I think they sound like, and what they actually mean. What words would you add to this list?
COVID-19
What it sounds like: A super-secret military operation.
What it is: An illness caused by the coronavirus that has upended the world — and hopefully soon will be brought under control by the new vaccines currently being approved and disseminated.
Asymptomatic
What it sounds like: Something that’s supposed to function completely without supervision but doesn’t, perhaps like some who ended up WFH?
What it is: The state of those who are infected with COVID-19 but are not displaying any overt signs of disease — and yet still can spread it to others. (See “super-spreader event.”)
Social Distancing
What it sounds like: What everyone does when Uncle Joe makes that terribly inappropriate joke at Thanksgiving.
What it is: The most inappropriate name for keeping physical distance between people to avoid spreading COVID-19 — it should be anti-social distancing, shouldn’t it?
Flattening the Curve
What it sounds like: What most of us vow to do on January 1, but usually stop trying to do when our one-month gym pass runs out on February 1.
What it is: Staying home, wearing face masks, washing our hands, and doing everything we can to minimize disease and keep from overwhelming our healthcare system.
Superspreader Event
What it sounds like: A convention of butter, lard, and margarine manufacturers.
What it is: Unfortunately, something that happened too many times this year — a gathering of people where COVID-19 infections were passed around like trade show candy.
Blursday
What it sounds like: The day before you get those new glasses you’ve been needing for a while.
What it is: That weird pandemic-induced effect where every day seems like every other day until you honestly have no idea what day it is.
Zooming
What it sounds like: What some lucky people used to do on the Concorde when they could fly from New York to Paris in less than half the time it took on a regular flight.
What it is: Like I have to tell you?
Related words:
Zoombombing
What it sounds like: Something that fortunately never happened to Concorde flights.
What it is: Something I can’t believe people still haven’t figured out how to stop — when a troll crashes your Zoom meeting and begins to spew horrible chat messages and usually pornographic images.
Zoom fatigue
What it sounds like: Jet lag caused by Zooming across the pond.
What it is: Again, like I have to tell you? That sense of ennui caused by too many Zoom meetings that go on too long.
Mute
What it sounds like: The word “moot,” which it most definitely is not!
What it is: The button more people moderating Zoom calls need to learn how to use more effectively to keep the meetings from causing Zoom fatigue.
WFH
What it sounds like: Some radio station way down on the AM dial.
What it is: What those of us lucky enough to be able to do it have been doing since March — working from home.
Asynchronous
What it sounds like: What the mechanic says your car’s engine has become when the noise it makes has gotten too loud to drown out by turning up the radio (oh, like you don’t do that?!).
What it is: Unlinking an event from the time in which it happens, as all too many #EventProfs had to do when they did a last-minute pivot from in-person meetings to digital this year.
Unprecedented
What it sounds like: What bad little boys and girls were on Christmas morning when they woke to find Santa had passed them by (like any kid was ever actually that bad).
What it is: Possibly the word we are all most tired of as we ring out 2020 — something with which we have no prior experience.
Quaranteam/Quarantini
What they sound like: Something you need to have a quorum to make happen.
What they are: Trying to keep some sort of “together yet apart” thing going as we WFH and social distance, from virtual teams to virtual drinks.
Pivot
What it sounds like: What some golfers kick up when they swing a little too aggressively, or the doodad that you use to fasten something to something else if you lived in an alternate universe.
What it is: Just behind “unprecedented” as the most-despised word of 2020, what we all had to do when the pandemic struck.
OK, your turn!
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